Saturday, November 04, 2006
HORSE IN THE SWIMMING POOL
HORSE IN THE SWIMMING POOL
HUMOROUS SHORT STORY
Sunday, July 25, 2004
http://www.erath.net/butler/
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HORSE IN THE SWIMMING POOL
SHORT STORY
BY LUTHER BUTLER
How boring! This was the typical James Bond stuff that happens to me all the time. I wandered off to south Texas hoping a few days in warm sea water would renew my interest in life. On my second day in the land of fun and frolic I saw a sign at the edge of one of those look-alike towns dotting the Texas coast.
There were a few scraggly palm trees in front of an old filling station turned into a sea shell selling place. Next to all this was a restaurant advertising the freshest sea food in south Texas. The big sign in front was unique. Large letters proclaimed: ENTER THE WORLDS LARGEST FISHING CONTEST -TEN DOLLARS- TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS PRIZE MONEY.
Customary as it was for me to win any contest I entered, I immediately started looking for this place. All along the coast are large swimming pools built almost to the sand for those too squeamish for the real thing. Macho as I am, I had never fooled with artificial things. My preference was to risk sharks and stingrays. All that had ever hit me was a jellyfish. Come to think of it a ferocious sand shark did eat my string of sea trout one time.
Someone had thought up the idea of stocking this enormous Texas-size swimming pool with fresh water fish and letting people fish its crystal clear water. The prize went to the one who caught the biggest one The swimming pool was tremendous with bathing beauties lounging around the edge. One well-shaped redhead caught my eye right off. More of her was outside of her swimming suit than inside. She wasn't big, either.
I paid my fee after explaining the only fishing gear I had with me was a surf-casting rig, one of those enormous ones with the open-faced reel that would burn your thumb unless you wore a leather glove to stop the line from rushing off too fast.
The owner assured me, "Your fishing equipment is fine. There are some big fish in this pool."
When I set up on the east side of the pool, the first thing that happened was the redhead got up and came over and draped herself almost on me. I could see it was going to be hard concentrating on fishing with her holding onto me.
They had all kinds of bait for sale: squid, shark meat, shrimp, mullet, and something I had never tried before, some small piranhas that strips flesh from humans.
Keeping up my image, "Give me two dozen of them." After he put them snapping devils in my live-bait bucket, I began to worry how I was going to get them out. It cost me some flesh and blood before I put a glove on my bare hand.
All of this was taking place with the voluptuous redhead pressing herself close to me. It was going to be the hardest fishing contest to win I had ever entered. Somehow I was going to win.
The two of us walked over and looked into the pool. In the sea-green water, catfish weighing up to a hundred pounds stared back at us. A bystander said, "The bigger ones are in the middle of the pool!"
With visions of big money in my grasp, I baited my hook after losing a small part of the glove and some flesh with it. Never mind, flesh would grow back. Ten thousand dollars would buy gloves, many pairs.
Plotting my cast, I drew back to make my throw when I was interrupted in mid-throw by the redhead wanting tender affection. After settling her down by holding her in my strong arms for a while, I continued my lost cast. The filament went straight down the middle of the pool.
One of those unexpected things happened - one of those unusual things that can happen only in Texas. A slender female not yet grown and her gleaming sorrel horse came swimming right under where my bait would land. The girl, thinking it was all a joke, caught the bait in her hand. Instantly the horse nuzzled her hand and swallowed the bait, hook, line and sinker! That piranha and my sharp hook in the horse's belly caused it to go into a raving fit. Knowing its mistress had held what was tearing its insides to pieces, that horse went after the girl with a vengeance. Throwing the redhead off, I realized this was going to be a fight to the finish. Using all the cleverness I had picked up in fighting creatures of the deep from sharks to marlins, I fought the raging horse off the struggling girl.
My pole bent double. Two hundred pound test line caused the singing reel to almost burn my thumb off. I bravely kept the horse turned from the girl it was trying to kill. It was a nightmare building up into one of those kinds that brings on heart attacks. There was nothing to do but keep fighting the tearing line. Slowly the horse's head turned, then its whole body started following the frantic pulling of my smoking line. Suddenly after the excitement was drawing to an end the strain got to me; I broke into a hysterical laugh I couldn't control. This sign of weakness after such bravery was disgusting.
My wife's sharp elbow hit me in the ribs, "I'm trying to sleep. Will you stop your idiotic laughing? What is so funny?"
Slowly my vision adjusted to the dark bedroom. The frantic swimming horse drifted from my vision. The swimming girl and the redhead vanished. My familiar bed was under me.
"How do you get a horse out of a swimming pool?" I asked before I slid back into a dreamless sleep.
All day I have been trying to remember what I ate before going to sleep last night. I must find out how my dream ended before I go crazy.
END
http://lutherbutler.tripod.com/
HUMOROUS SHORT STORY
Sunday, July 25, 2004
http://www.erath.net/butler/
">
HORSE IN THE SWIMMING POOL
SHORT STORY
BY LUTHER BUTLER
How boring! This was the typical James Bond stuff that happens to me all the time. I wandered off to south Texas hoping a few days in warm sea water would renew my interest in life. On my second day in the land of fun and frolic I saw a sign at the edge of one of those look-alike towns dotting the Texas coast.
There were a few scraggly palm trees in front of an old filling station turned into a sea shell selling place. Next to all this was a restaurant advertising the freshest sea food in south Texas. The big sign in front was unique. Large letters proclaimed: ENTER THE WORLDS LARGEST FISHING CONTEST -TEN DOLLARS- TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS PRIZE MONEY.
Customary as it was for me to win any contest I entered, I immediately started looking for this place. All along the coast are large swimming pools built almost to the sand for those too squeamish for the real thing. Macho as I am, I had never fooled with artificial things. My preference was to risk sharks and stingrays. All that had ever hit me was a jellyfish. Come to think of it a ferocious sand shark did eat my string of sea trout one time.
Someone had thought up the idea of stocking this enormous Texas-size swimming pool with fresh water fish and letting people fish its crystal clear water. The prize went to the one who caught the biggest one The swimming pool was tremendous with bathing beauties lounging around the edge. One well-shaped redhead caught my eye right off. More of her was outside of her swimming suit than inside. She wasn't big, either.
I paid my fee after explaining the only fishing gear I had with me was a surf-casting rig, one of those enormous ones with the open-faced reel that would burn your thumb unless you wore a leather glove to stop the line from rushing off too fast.
The owner assured me, "Your fishing equipment is fine. There are some big fish in this pool."
When I set up on the east side of the pool, the first thing that happened was the redhead got up and came over and draped herself almost on me. I could see it was going to be hard concentrating on fishing with her holding onto me.
They had all kinds of bait for sale: squid, shark meat, shrimp, mullet, and something I had never tried before, some small piranhas that strips flesh from humans.
Keeping up my image, "Give me two dozen of them." After he put them snapping devils in my live-bait bucket, I began to worry how I was going to get them out. It cost me some flesh and blood before I put a glove on my bare hand.
All of this was taking place with the voluptuous redhead pressing herself close to me. It was going to be the hardest fishing contest to win I had ever entered. Somehow I was going to win.
The two of us walked over and looked into the pool. In the sea-green water, catfish weighing up to a hundred pounds stared back at us. A bystander said, "The bigger ones are in the middle of the pool!"
With visions of big money in my grasp, I baited my hook after losing a small part of the glove and some flesh with it. Never mind, flesh would grow back. Ten thousand dollars would buy gloves, many pairs.
Plotting my cast, I drew back to make my throw when I was interrupted in mid-throw by the redhead wanting tender affection. After settling her down by holding her in my strong arms for a while, I continued my lost cast. The filament went straight down the middle of the pool.
One of those unexpected things happened - one of those unusual things that can happen only in Texas. A slender female not yet grown and her gleaming sorrel horse came swimming right under where my bait would land. The girl, thinking it was all a joke, caught the bait in her hand. Instantly the horse nuzzled her hand and swallowed the bait, hook, line and sinker! That piranha and my sharp hook in the horse's belly caused it to go into a raving fit. Knowing its mistress had held what was tearing its insides to pieces, that horse went after the girl with a vengeance. Throwing the redhead off, I realized this was going to be a fight to the finish. Using all the cleverness I had picked up in fighting creatures of the deep from sharks to marlins, I fought the raging horse off the struggling girl.
My pole bent double. Two hundred pound test line caused the singing reel to almost burn my thumb off. I bravely kept the horse turned from the girl it was trying to kill. It was a nightmare building up into one of those kinds that brings on heart attacks. There was nothing to do but keep fighting the tearing line. Slowly the horse's head turned, then its whole body started following the frantic pulling of my smoking line. Suddenly after the excitement was drawing to an end the strain got to me; I broke into a hysterical laugh I couldn't control. This sign of weakness after such bravery was disgusting.
My wife's sharp elbow hit me in the ribs, "I'm trying to sleep. Will you stop your idiotic laughing? What is so funny?"
Slowly my vision adjusted to the dark bedroom. The frantic swimming horse drifted from my vision. The swimming girl and the redhead vanished. My familiar bed was under me.
"How do you get a horse out of a swimming pool?" I asked before I slid back into a dreamless sleep.
All day I have been trying to remember what I ate before going to sleep last night. I must find out how my dream ended before I go crazy.
END
http://lutherbutler.tripod.com/
